Monday, 29 April 2013

How to Date Safely on the Internet

Dating disasters are a part of life. They are caused by a failure of our expectations to match up with reality. This sounds like a mouthful, but its not really. When we date, we are looking for someone who matches our expectations. Someone who we can have a relationship with. When a "potential" fails massively in this regard, a dating disaster is the result.

The dangers of dating have existed forever. They are not new because the internet age has arrived. They exist because dating exposes you to people you don't really know yet. Its as simple as that
When you go on a date with someone incompatible, you have a pretty bad time. Its not fun. But thats the extent of the damage. It costs you one night of your life to learn someone is incompatible with you and that is it. Sometimes though you meet people who are not only incompatible, but are out to harm you for their own benefit. In these situations you could be in danger, your person or property could be at risk. It is from these occasions that dating disaster legends and myths are born.

Apart from the obvious damage these occasions cause for the innocent participant of the date, the recounting of the story creates another issue. Often, when these stories are recounted third and fourth hand, they get worse and worse in the telling. Unfortunately they can leave other people (the ones hearing the tales) scared to date, afraid to go out and meet new people. The loneliness this causes for these other people then becomes an added injury to the one sustained on the date.

When internet came to dating, nothing changed in regards to the dangers of dating. If you are someone who is interested in finding love, at some stage you have to meet people in real life and spend time getting to know them. The only thing the internet changed was the method of introduction.

If you have missed the fact that internet dating is just a forum to meet people, you may make one of the following two mistakes:

1. You think internet dating is actually dating. That is, you forget you only really get to know someone once you meet them in real life and spend time with them.
2. When you meet someone who isn't right for you, you blame the internet rather than the incompatible personality
These mistakes are often exacerbated by a number of niche (but very popular) dating sites in the adult dating industry. Here, finding a no strings sex partner (or partners...) is called dating. It is not dating. In fact, internet dating itself is not dating. All online dating sites are, are introductions services.
Internet dating sites are the modern form of a newspaper ad, the olden days social event, or the blind date set up. Its a forum to meet people. That's all. The quicker you understands this, the safer and more successful your internet dating experiences will be.

When dating, I believe everyone should put safety first. You don't really know the person you are dating yet (Ie. that's the whole point of the exercise), so don't assume they are as trustworthy as you. You can never have a successful dating experience anyway, if you have doubts about your safety. So to help, I'd like to suggest you adhere to the following 6 guidelines when using the internet to help with your dating experience:

1. Understand the role dating sites play. Ie. They are there to help you find people. That's where their purpose ends.
2. Recognise that niche online dating sites attract the personality types they cater to. Only join the ones you think will attract the people you are interested in.
3. Use internet communications as an initial screening process, but not at the expense of your usual real life screening processes and common sense
4. When you progress your dating into the real world (Ie. when you decide to really meet someone you found on the internet) recognise the person you have been communicating with may have been a facade. So approach the situation with the same caution you would with any first date. And start to get to know the person. YES. This is your first date. NO. Those long chat room sessions were not.
5. If you are ever unsure, particularly in the early stages, put safety first.
6. When you have a bad dating experience, learn from it but don't give up. Don't forsake your long term happiness because you met one bad apple. There are plenty of good people out there.

Great First Dating Tips and Guidance

Whenever you go on a date for the first time, there are few dating tips to consider in order to get a guarantee for second date. Try not to make the date too drastic just keep it simple that can go a long way. You mostly likely to feel very scared but remember this your date will feel exactly the same way. Try not to show off or go over the top when you are impressing your date as you should keep the date fun and exciting. Always remember that the person you are dating, could be the person you will spend your life with.

Whenever your planning on your first date, you should, which is very important is finding a best place to meet. Having a date in bars or clubs is not a wonderful idea to go as you can find it really frustrating to have a conversation since you can't hear each other while the music is playing loud.

Restaurants can be a great idea as the atmosphere is quieter and public and you and your date can have a great conversation but you need to make sure about the eating habits if your date is vegetarian or vegan, etc. Try to wear a nice smart casual clothes but don't wear anything too smart like a piece piece suit or too casual like ripped jeans. You must plan this in advance so that you don't wear whatever comes in your mind.

To prevent painful silence, you should think about topics and keep them in your head so you will have things to say.Always remember to be on time, it doesn't hurt too much if you arrive slightly early but not late. Make sure that your phone is switched to silence as it can be rude for your date to listen to your conversation with another person. You can check the phone when going to the toilet. You could, with your date, talk about funny things that happened to you in the past for something to laugh about but do limit yourself. You could have a nice flirting session but always know your limit as your date start thinking you only want one thing.
Try to enjoy yourself on the date so that you both will have a fun time since you will relay to your date. Try not to drink too much as your date will think [wrongly,differently] about you, which will end up in a disaster and being your final date. Try to keep things as simple as possible like be polite, kind, don't expect anything and being yourself. This could lead you to many dates.

Overall to have a exciting date, try to have great time with your date but be sure not to go overboard. Remember this, you do not need to prove yourself anything to your date since you both had feelings from the beginning that helped you go on a date in the first place. lastly, give your date a good impression so it's more likely you will get a second date and remember all of these tips I given you so you will have a fun first date.

Why Free Online Dating Has Become Successful

When free dating online started not that many people knew about it. There were only but a few sites that were really 100% free. At this time the leading paid dating services were starting to invest in huge advertising campaigns. So the public were repeatedly reminded about them. Only a few years later did the first free dating websites start becoming very popular. Most of the free dating sites offered the same tools and features as the paid dating services. Some of the free dating sites even offered unique tools like wink, send a card, and more.  

Eventually website designers and the online dating entrepreneurs had to come up with a better plan to attract new members. They had to be different from the rest to actually appear in the search results because of the increasing amount of competition. This is when "niches" started to form. Free online dating sites that target a singular type of person, for example, "Vegan Dating", or "Yoga Dating". At this point in time these dating sites were fairly easy to optimize since their were little to no other sites like them. Soon, the public had access to any site that they desired in trying to find the most suitable free dating service.

Singles can join a free dating service that matches what they enjoy in life and get paired with a person who shares the same interest. Most of these "niched" sites often have personality tests where singles can answer a few questions about themselves and what they enjoy. After taking a personality test the single can then view a list of the people they might be interested in that live right around the corner. No wonder free online dating became so popular.. People had the option to either date the "old-fashioned way", or to try something affordable and easy to find exactly the person they're looking for.  

  Free dating sites began to make their sites even better and easier to find someone. Now there are features like camera chat, and phone. These features opened up so many doors for singles to talk and even see their date before actually meeting. Both men and women that did not have time to date because of their career or kids now had the opportunity to date online. Singles that were tired of meeting the wrong people or ending up on an awkward blind date started to date online. Now there are hundreds of thousands singles dating online. There have been numerous success stories from people all over the globe. With this many people on free dating websites, the paid dating services began to compromise by offering 30 day trials, or other forms of saving money schemes. The free online dating industry kept getting larger and even more popular that eventually the first free dating websites were getting close to the same amount of members that the paid dating services had. This scared the paid dating services that they too ended up making some of their features free and even making other dating sites that were 100% free.

Top Ten Dating Tips For Men

Prepare yourself physically - looks, appearance and how you portray yourself to the world. If you are selling your car the first thing to do is to wash and clean it to present it in the best light. When selling your house you tidy and de-clutter in order to attract the right buyer at the right price. Think about dating as selling yourself. The first (and the easiest) step on the dating journey is to get the physical aspects right - take a blinkers-off look at yourself as others see you, starting with your hygiene. This is a major red flag for women if it's not at an acceptable level.
 
Dating Tip 2 - Appearance
 
Keep your dating blinkers off and look at your appearance:
 
·         Your body - happy with it? If not why should she be?
 
·         Your clothes - are they clean and suit the situation you find yourself in?
 
·         Your habits - some you know you do, others are unconscious. Red flags all!!!
 
·         Your interests - are you interesting to be with? Women date interesting men.
 
·         Your ambitions - women like to date ambitious men.
 
·         Your independence - if she sees you can't look after yourself you can't look after her!
 
Get these first two tips right and you will be ahead of most of your dating rivals.
 
Dating Tip 3 - Emotional Baggage
 
Get your mind right - get in dating mode. De-clutter your mind and overcome the mental barriers to success that everyone carries around with them, especially when dating. Remove any baggage you might have - poor self image created by previous dating or life experiences or the residual effects of a past relationship. Next let go of this baggage and leave it behind. If you were looking to buy something, would you give it a second glance if it had obvious flaws or looked like someone else had used it? Why should she look at you if you have obvious flaws?
 
Dating Tip 4 - Confidence
 
Baggage often causes a lack of confidence and this is very debilitating when dating - nothing attracts a woman like confidence. Deep down (or even near the surface!) women are often looking for someone to look after them. If you appear confident and able to cope with any situation you immediately become very attractive to a large number of women especially if there are no other red flags. Know what confidence is and how you can develop an air of confidence as a major step in wowing a large number of women.
 
Dating Tip 5 - Conversation Skills
 
Make the most of the things you have to make you more interesting and exciting. Know how to make conversation, both what to talk about and, more importantly, how to hold a conversation that leaves your date wanting to talk to you more. This does not just involve talking! There is a secret in being an excellent conversationalist and the secret is this - everyone's (and I mean everyone!) number one topic of conversation is himself or herself. So when talking with anyone you want to engage with is to talk and ask questions about their favourite subject - themselves! Easy! Add to that some topics everyone has in common and some tools to keep the conversation flowing and you are ready to be interested and interesting.
 
Dating Tip 6 - Rapport
 
Know how to establish rapport with women - how to make a connection. Everyone (and once again I mean everyone) likes someone who is like him or her. Find out how to find areas in common with whoever you are talking to. This makes her feel comfortable and want to spend more time with you.
 
Dating Tip 7 - Read Her Body Language
 
You have probably heard about this subject, but you probably don't use what is right in front your face - women do. Women are giving signals all the time about how comfortable they are, how interested they are and whether they are about to leave. Read these signals and swing the dating odds in your favour - know if you are wasting your time and should leave or if you should ask her for her telephone number now. If your dating requests are getting rejected 80% of the time it can be very demoralising no matter how positive you are! If you get 80% acceptance suddenly you look like Superman!
 
Dating Tip 8 - Practice, practice, practice!
 
Practice all the above and be aware of the feedback you get and act on it. Of all the tips this one step improves the odds of dating success more than any other. No one can expect to get their dating technique right just by reading dating books about what to do and then rely on it working in the heat of the moment. What is needed is practice, firstly on your own, then in controlled environments and then in real life dating situations. By the time you get there real life dating will feel comfortable and you will realise you have nothing to lose. How comfortable would you be in the hands of a surgeon who had not bothered to practice - who turned up in the operating theatre and decided to wing it?
Bring that level of professionalism to the dating party so you don't look like an amateur, act like an amateur and get amateur results!
 
Dating Tip 9 - Go Where Women Go!
 
If you are looking to meet women to date, think about where she would go. Where does she socialise? Where does she go for entertainment? If you want to find tigers you need to go to the zoo. No matter how many times you go to the library you won't find one there unless it's a picture! Better still go on a tiger safari in the wild! Think it through and then go there - fish in a well stocked barrel!

Dating Tip 10 - Take Action!
 
Take action and do it now! It's all very well going through the steps above and getting ready to act but, as General George Patton said, "A good plan vigorously executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week". Decide on your course of action and act. Load the bullet and pull the trigger. You can wait for your dating preparation to be perfect and for the perfect dating opportunity to arise, but the days, months and years will pass by whether you act or not and you are wasting valuable dating time by prevaricating. It's very easy to make excuses but, like it or not, your success is judged by dating results, not by intention. How successful would you feel if the epitaph on your headstone read "He meant to ask a girl on a date"?
 
FACT          Women are dying to meet acceptable, interesting and entertaining men
 
GOAL          Become acceptable, interesting and entertaining.
 
PLAN          Remove the things that make you unacceptable and make the most of things that make you interesting and entertaining.
 
Make finding the right person a priority - not finding any person. Always keep the dating goal in mind. You will need to be committed. Never forget that you do have a choice. You can sit around waiting for good things to happen or go out and make sure good things happen. So get ready for dating - be ready to commit to dates, prepare for let downs but most of all get ready to have fun. So what are you waiting for? Stop making excuses. Stop moaning about your bad luck. Stop watching TV. Get up off your procrastination and get started. Now!
Stop failing and start dating!

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More